Adrienne Truscott (2013 Edinburgh Fringe Panel prizewinner) “I would’ve said [Tony] Abbott, because his tone-deafness makes it so easy, and after the George Bush years an American could basically recycle the same jokes with a quick name change! But that’s too lazy, and for my purposes Bill Cosby’s hubris is a pretty rich source for […]
Bill English Despite politics closely resembling an episode of The Walking Dead, watching Bill English unleash his anti-charisma on New Zealand is still compulsive viewing for his statistics, policies and, of course, jokes going down like lead balloons. Will his set-list be predictable, or are there surprises in store? If there are broken promises, his […]
Cricket and politics have many things in common — the highest form of each is both exhilarating to fans and excruciating to everyone else, and New Zealand bats higher than its average on the world stage, especially with Helen Clark clocking up outrageous numbers. In honour of such things, here’s the Government’s First XI. Aggressive […]
David Seymour’s ‘See-Mo’ Moustache For Movember, Seymour grew what could only be described as ‘The Epsom Bandito’. Like a slightly uncool Magnum PI, it was perfect for a man looking to be the annoying stick-poker to the Left. Then, like the promise of a surplus, it was gone almost as if it was never there, […]
Government MP of the Year John Key ‘King Key’ doesn’t work with a Kiwi accent, but ‘Teflon John’ highlights how nothing stuck pre-election. From sliding polls to election dominance, he rope-a-doped his opponents. The fact that Labour and Greens are already talking about ‘Key 2017’ shows how hard the knockout was. Opposition MP of the Year Winston […]
Hone Harawira How satirists, and the common worker, will miss the great firebrand of Māoridom. Yes, his fatal decision to go full Dotcom proved his undoing, but it’s not his loss alone. Hone had a way of provoking people that meant his politics, for better or worse, stuck in people’s minds. Revolutionary, thug, puppet, lone […]
I strongly suggest you look up Fiji and its coups in order to understand fully the importance of this election. My family has lived in Fiji since 1996. During the 2000 ‘Speight Coup’ the military took over my Dad’s house as its base of operations, which led to him unexpectedly showing up at my place […]
National: 48% Sorry #teamkey, they won’t get 50 percent. But only just. This is National’s election to lose, and John Key doesn’t only hold all the cards — he’s dealing… in his casino. National, with support from United and Māori, should bring it home, albeit with vulnerabilities. Just as Labour’s 2011 paralleled National’s 2002, look […]
National: Steven, are we sure about #teamkey? It fees like we’ve ripped off Twilight. Gerry, did you see how much money those films made? I wish we had their youth turnout. Well at least the election isn’t next year. I’m not sure #50shadesofkey would be as popular. You read 50 Shades? That’s a bigger shock […]
Nicky Wagner (National, Christchurch Central) Thanks to Maurice Williamson, this previously unheralded MP finds herself Associate Minister of Conservation and Canterbury Earthquake Recovery, finally getting her some traction. Best known for beating Brendan Burns (which would make a great film title) by 47 votes and breaking one of Labour’s fortress electorates. Only Paula Bennett’s legendary […]
