Steven, are we sure about #teamkey? It fees like we’ve ripped off Twilight.
Gerry, did you see how much money those films made? I wish we had their youth turnout.
Well at least the election isn’t next year. I’m not sure #50shadesofkey would be as popular.
You read 50 Shades? That’s a bigger shock than our tax cuts.
I’m into fan fiction, like tax cuts… and John’s book.
I wish we could have done a big concert like Kim Dotcom.
We’ve linked our app to Spotify. That’s as artistic as this party gets.
Alright, Damian, cards on the table. What ya got?
A flush of females. How ’bout you, Annette?
I pulled a Trevor, which is a wild card, so let me try again. Aha! A Phil.
Hmm… Three Davids and a pair of Phils — full house. Does that beat a flush?
Check the list again.
Don’t tell anyone but I just caught Russel getting out of a non-Green Cab. Oh, and don’t try one of Gareth Morgan’s burgers — it’s not beef. That guy is obsessed.
New Zealand First:
Those media understand nothing about New Zealand First and nothing about Winston Peters. I know the numbers keep fluctuating, but you can never trust the polls — or, in Hone’s case, the Germans! Thank you, I’m here all weekend — try the fish. Someone get me a drink.
Te Ururoa, please!! For the hundredth time, put the grandchild photos away. No Tariana, don’t get yours out too. Pita! Everyone put the moko pics down so we can concentrate on youth policies!!
Hey Laila, can you guys make us a Tinder app for protests where you find the local causes in your area and swipe left for yes and right for no?
We could, Hone but that’s a horrific idea. It sounds popular, but would completely undermine us.
I know, but think of what we can do with the money. How do you feel about an album?
Now the bus will be leaving at four so if everyone can check their gold passes… I’m just talking to myself here aren’t I?
Everyone this is my new friend, Donghua Liu. He’d like to shout us all dinner.
Colin, calm down, it’s not a moustache-growing contest — it’s an election. You can do this. Now, are you going to unlock the bathroom door?… Shall we sing the song?
Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis Party:
Alright, let’s go over our TPPA arguments again, try to stay focused and — let’s go to the Backbencher!